NSXGB
04-11-2008, 04:42 PM
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATMs enabling
customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles...
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
************ ********* ********* *
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
************ ********* ********* *
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set hand brake and put down your car window.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call her/him back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine because it's too far
from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag contents to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
cheque book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Re-fill handbag.
20. Drive forward half a metre.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
24. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
25. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
26. Redial person on mobile phone.
27. Drive for 3-4 km.
28. Release Hand Brake.
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATMs enabling
customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles...
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
************ ********* ********* *
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
************ ********* ********* *
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set hand brake and put down your car window.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call her/him back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine because it's too far
from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag contents to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
cheque book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Re-fill handbag.
20. Drive forward half a metre.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
24. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
25. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
26. Redial person on mobile phone.
27. Drive for 3-4 km.
28. Release Hand Brake.